Our 5th Anniversary

I just know you've all been wondering why in the world we missed Carina's birthday party...right?

I'm not a writer, or and English major. Spelling, grammar, punctuation and fluency are not my friends, but I will try my best to help you feel like you were there with us on our adventure.

Joe and I took the kids to my mom's house on Saturday and headed off to a really nice resort in Green Valley, AZ. We've been north for our anniversary before, so this time we tried something different and went south.

The trip didn't start out so great. We planned on stopping at Bennigan's on our way through Tucson. Joe has really been missing their Monte Cristo sandwich since the Mesa location closed about 8 or 10 years ago. We drove, turned around, drove, turned around and finally stopped at a hotel that had a banner over the old restaurant sign in front. We asked inside and found out that Bennigan's have closed all of their restaurants in the U.S. =(

We were bummed.

We decided to check into the hotel and see what there was to eat there. As we drove up to the hotel it was beautiful. It was surrounded by a golf course and everything was really green and looked great! As we walked up to the front door, this is what we saw.

Ok, so maybe you can't really tell what's going on there, just in case you aren't as freaked out as I was at this point, let me show you a closeup of (what were told) is a mesquite beetle. I'm pretty sure they didn't know what they were talking about though, because this is not what I found when I googled it. Anyway, I asked the important questions when we were checking in; do they bite - no; do they fly - yes. We were also told by one girl, who happens to love bugs, that even she does not like these bugs. They told us it was a lot worse three or four days ago. Excellent! We were also told that when they got on you...oh good grief!...their feet with stick to your clothes. I looked a Joe. He looked at me. I took a breath. We were only there for one night. We already had an excellent rate. What the heck. We checked in, and asked for a late check-out for the following day. Got it...1:00.

We ate at the restaurant on the golf course. It was OK, and reasonably priced.

It was hard to pretend that the bugs weren't there, but they were mostly stuck to the building, or smashed on the sidewalk, dead. We walked around and saw the gym and the pool. We went to our room, changed, and went down to the pool. The swimming pool had those bugs in the bottom of it. We chose the hot tub instead, where we met a very nice couple with two little girls.

We went back to our room, showered, and decided to go into the town of Green Valley for dinner. The nice bug girl at the front desk helped us pick a restaurant. It was OK too.

Here is where the story gets crazy.

I had talked Joe into getting a pedicure (it only took me 10 years together to convince him it would be OK) and so after dinner we pulled up to a place to see if it would be opened the following afternoon. I got out of the car to see the sign. I got back in the car.

We drove for a while and there was a beetle on my jeans!! "Joe!!"He flicked it.

I need to apologize for what happened next.

"Are you freaking kidding me?? (as I am now sitting on my feet) You flicked it?? Now we have no idea where it is!! Holy crap!! I can't believe you did that!!!" The dome light comes on, Joe mumbles something about probably killing it when he flicked it, but I can barely hear. I am in full freak out mode now. To say I was hyperventilating would probably be an understatement, and Joe is ticked. He did something when I was frozen, and he is still driving. That should count for something, but I cannot stop yelling and FREAKING out!!

There is one on my shirt!!

Joe grabs it with his bare hand, rolls down his window and throws it out onto the highway. I'm still not breathing. I can't think. I should say thank you. I don't realize it. My feet eventually are back on the floor board. I feel something on my foot. My purse gets it's A$$ kicked, and my flip flops are somewhere down there tangled with my purse.

I try to breathe. There are tears. The dome light is still on. I mumble something about needing medication. I think I told Joe thank you for throwing that one out, but I can't be sure. I feel like they are everywhere.

There is another one!!

It's on the phone charger cord. I'm sure that's the one that was on my foot, thank God, because I wasn't sure how I was going to get rid of that purse, without touching it, or anything in it. Joe grabbed that one, rolled down his window again, and threw it out.

Somewhere during all of that we drove up to a movie theatre and looked at the movies. I cannot tell you one single movie that was playing. We decided not to get out of the car. There were people out there!! Are they crazy??

We also drove to a grocery store. Joe wanted Diet Mountain Dew and some snacks for our room. I could not get out of the car. I told Joe that he could go. He decided not to...there was a soda machine in the workout room.

We drove up to the building our room was in. There was a man opening the double doors with his card. We got out and followed him in. He turned down a hallway. I pushed the elevator button. The doors were still open, and the beetles were flying everywhere!! It was a nightmare! This can't really be happening!! Wouldn't they close for something like this? Joe was fighting them off with a piece of paper. Actually hitting them in midair!! It was an eternity before the elevator doors finally opened. We got in, he was guarding the doorway with his paper, and I hit the "door shut" button about a gazillion times. The doors closed. We checked each other. We were good. We got out on the third floor went in our room and did not venture out until morning. It was only 8:00!!

The next morning as we got out of the elevator, the dead bugs were alarming. They were everywhere!! Seriously people, Vacuum!! Here is a video of the light fixture in our building.

We ate breakfast, packed up and checked out at 10:30.

We stopped at three places in Green Valley to try to get that pedicure. They were all closed on Sunday's. I was not giving up. I mistakenly had Joe get off the freeway in Tucson. I figured all you have to do is find a grocery store, because there is always a nail place in those strips. We were in Tucson for about 45 minutes and found one nail place - closed; and one grocery store - free standing. We got back on the highway, and I apologized to Joe for making him get off in that town. He laughed. We did not try again until we were at Gilbert and Ocatillo (or something like that). We finally found a place open and we both got pedicures!! HOORAY!! Joe didn't think it totally sucked either. =)

I think next time we'll go back up north.